@FASTLAUGH - shf happens on the road: Communication brake-down

Tag Archives: shf

shf happens on the road: Communication brake-down

shf happens on the road: Communication brake-down
July 28, 2010
by shf
Bighorn Mountain, WY (FASTLAUGH.com) — Hey there, Mr. Forty-Five Foot RV Guy with the Texas plates…
That was quite the intestine-liquefying scare you gave yourself and family while careening down from 9,430 feet on Bighorn Mountain in Wyoming, with your SUV wildly in tow… wasn’t it?
How exceptionally [...]

shf happens on the road: Sign, sign, everywhere a sign

shf happens on the road: Sign, sign, everywhere a sign
July 28, 2010
by shf
Buffalo Gap National Grassland, SD (FASTLAUGH.com) — Note to the South Dakota Department of Transportation.
Hey there, SDDOT…
One afternoon recently, a somewhat startled traveler on Highway 44, just west of Scenic, SD in the Buffalo Gap National Grassland, was driving through that vast, undulating [...]

¶ Posted 28 July 2010 § SOCIETY § shf ‡ Comments (0) ° Also tagged: alcohol-related death, Buffalo Gap National Grassland, Department of Transportation, drive safely, drunken, grassland, highways, hillside, Indian Country, Indian Reservation, job security, law enforcement officer, Lloyd Looking Elk, memorial, Pine Ridge Indian Reservation, ravine, roadside memorial, safety, Scenic South Dakota, SDDOT, sign painter, signage, South Dakota, South Dakota Department of Transportation, speeding, telephone pole, utility crew, Whiteclay Nebraska, Why Die?, X Marks the Spot

shf happens on the road: In the dumps at KOA

shf happens on the road: In the dumps at KOA
July 26, 2010
by shf
Plattekill, NY (FASTLAUGH.com) — Note to the management of Recreational Adventures Company — a family-owned and operated business — and the largest franchisee of KOA Kampgrounds of America.
Hey there, Mr. and Mrs. Kamp… and to the rest of the fine Kamp family!
You might [...]

¶ Posted 26 July 2010 § SOCIETY § shf ‡ Comments (0) ° Also tagged: campground, contaminated water, de-sewaging, dump, family-owned, fecal contamination, fibs, franchisee, health risk, holding tank, hose connector, hose stub, hot and humid, kampground, Kampgrounds of America, KOA, non-potable, Plattekill NY, recreational adventures company, RV, sanitary deficiencies, sanitation, sewage, signage, splashing, State of New York Health Department, stranger, water faucet

shf happens on the road: Bighorn Medicine Wheel

shf happens on the road: Bighorn Medicine Wheel
July 24, 2010
by shf
Medicine Wheel (Bighorn National Forest), WY (FASTLAUGH.com) — Note to the obnoxious tourist family with the brood of unruly, ADD children.
Hey dude and Mrs. dude…
When you conceived, and then acted upon, that brilliant idea of dragging your behaviorally-impaired young children up the side of a [...]

¶ Posted 24 July 2010 § SOCIETY § shf ‡ Comments (0) ° Also tagged: ADD, Bighorn Mountains, children, Craisen, dude, erosion, forest, forest ranger, hike, litter, Medicine Wheel, monument, national treasure, Native American, respect, rules, sacred, tourist, U.S. Forest Service, Wyoming

shf happens on the road: Wisconsin’s Cheese Toll

shf happens on the road: Wisconsin’s Cheese Toll
July 24, 2010
by shf
Beloit, WI (FASTLAUGH.com) — Note of thanks to the Wisconsin Department of Transportation.
Dear WisDOT,
How refreshing and instantly pleasing it was to cross into your lovely green state after grinding through the repetitive landscape of sticky-fingered toll-booth plazas across Ohio, Indiana, and Illinois.
After grudgingly dropping about [...]

¶ Posted 24 July 2010 § BUSINESS § shf ‡ Comments (0) ° Also tagged: alignment, artery, cheese, cheese toll, cholesterol, crumbling infrastructure, curd, I-80, Illinois, Indiana, Ohio, OhioDOT, sales tax, tax, toll booth, traveler, Wisconsin, Wisconsin DOT

shf happens on the road: Roadkill in Pennsylvania

shf happens on the road: Roadkill in Pennsylvania
July 23, 2010
by shf
Roadkill, PA (FASTLAUGH.com) — Note to the Pennsylvania Department of Transportation.
Dear PennDOT,
Your Welcome Center Division is to be commended for having such incredibly visionary vision: “By assisting motorists as they enter Pennsylvania, the Welcome Center Division will drive safe, efficient and economic stimulating travel throughout [...]

¶ Posted 23 July 2010 § SOCIETY § shf ‡ Comments (0) ° Also tagged: budget, carcass, decay, DOT, highway, hinterland, motorist, nausea, PennDOT, Pennsylvania, roadkill, safety, speeding ticket, visionary, welcome center

shf happens on the road: Gas pains in South Dakota

shf happens on the road: Gas pains in South Dakota
July 22, 2010
by shf
Chamberlain, SD (FASTLAUGH.com) — Note to the befuddled gas station cashier in Chamberlain, South Dakota.
When a customer prepays you $60.00 for gas and tells you that they will return for their change and receipt, they have good reason to expect a dollar bill [...]

¶ Posted 22 July 2010 § SOCIETY § shf ‡ Comments (0) ° Also tagged: befuddled, cashier, Chamberlain South Dakota, dollar, fuel, gas pains, gasoline, penny, South Dakota

BP fesses to photo fraud

BP fesses to photo fraud
July 22, 2010
by shf
Houston, TX (FASTLAUGH.com) — Beyond Pathetic now confirms what had already been widely suspected — that it intentionally posted photoshopped images of its Houston, TX Gulf of Mexico oil spill response crisis room, in a veiled attempt to portray competency and situational awareness.
Scott Dean, BP’s reluctant spokesperson, confessed [...]

¶ Posted 22 July 2010 § BUSINESS § shf ‡ Comments (0) ° Also tagged: Beyond Pathetic, BP, British Petroleum, confession, crisis room, fraud, Gulf of Mexico oil spill, Houston, oil spill, pathetic, photographer, photoshop, situational awareness, spokesperson, Texas, Tony Hayward

Windows 7 SP1 beta leaked, OS tweaks coming late 2010

Windows 7 SP1 beta leaked, OS tweaks coming late 2010
April 8, 2010
by shf
REDMOND, Wash. (FASTLAUGH.com) — With the launch of Windows 7 now several months old, and nearly one-third of users having reported problems with upgrading to Windows 7 claiming that the process is buggy, it’s time to get ready for a new fiasco from [...]

¶ Posted 08 April 2010 § BUSINESS § SCI/TECH § shf ‡ Comments (0) ° Also tagged: 62%, advanced degree, advanced settings, beta, bugs (computer), calculations, coding, compromised machine, computer science, computers, critical Windows 7 bugs, fixes, golden ratio, Graham's number, hack, hard drive, installation, inverse golden ratio, iPad envy, irrational mathematical constant, mathematics, mean derived value, Microsoft, operating systems, physics, Pi, registry hack, Service Packs, software, software upgrades, Windows 7, Windows 7 SP1 beta, Windows 8, workarounds

Marriage Ref spin-offs in the works, Seinfeld and NBC confirm

Marriage Ref spin-offs in the works, Seinfeld and NBC confirm
March 11, 2010
by shf
NEW YORK (FASTLAUGH.com) — Grateful NBC executives profusely thanked producer-comedian Jerry Seinfeld today for coming to the Peacock Network’s rescue, with the Seinfeld-produced The Marriage Ref placing a comedy tourniquet on their self-inflicted hemorrhage in the Thursday 10 PM time slot.
The Marriage Ref [...]

¶ Posted 11 March 2010 § ENTERTAINMENT § shf ‡ Comments (0) ° Also tagged: appreciation, cell mate, comedian, comedy, criminal, demographics, diamonds, face-saving, gold, hemorrhage, inmate, jail, jail cell, Jay Leno, Jeff Gaspin, Jerry Seinfeld, Leno, Lockup, marriage, Marriage Ref, moribund, MSNBC, NBC, NBC affiliates, NBC Universal, network, panelist, Peacock, postmarital, premarital, press kit, prime-time, prisoner, producer, ratings, ref, Seinfeld, self inflicted, spin off, steel bars, synergy, television executive, The Custody Ref, The Divorce Ref, The Inmate Ref, The Marriage Ref, The Roommate Ref, time slot, tourniquet, WTF

NBC’s incessant promos for TV show Parenthood during coverage of Winter Olympics spur condom distribution record

NBC’s incessant promos for TV show Parenthood during coverage of Winter Olympics spur condom distribution record
March 2, 2010
by shf
VANCOUVER, B.C. (FASTLAUGH.com) — The 2010 Vancouver Olympics have “captured the gold medal for most condoms distributed at a Winter Games,” it was claimed today by an official of Vancouver Coastal Health, who noted that this massive [...]

¶ Posted 02 March 2010 § ENTERTAINMENT § SPORTS § shf ‡ Comments (3) ° Also tagged: 2010 Olympics, 2014, AIDS, AIDS awareness, AIDS Research, athletes, audience, Barcelona Spain, billboard, British Columbia, British Columbia Centre for Disease Control, broadcast, Canada, Canadian Foundation for AIDS Research, commercials, condom, condom distribution, disjointed coverage, gold medal, health agencies, HIV, incessant commercials, massive screwing, NBC, NBC logo, NBC logo condoms, Olympic coverage, Olympic rings, Olympics, Parenthood, Peacock Network, physical prime, promo, randy, records, rubbers, Russia, screwing, self promotion, sex, sexual prime, Sochi, Spain, Summer Olympics, swag, tease, TV, Vancouver B.C., Vancouver Coastal Health, viewing audience, Winter Olympics, WTF

Y2K redux, Sony’s PlayStation 3 units crippled by 8001050F error likely due to calendar rollover screw up

Y2K redux, Sony’s PlayStation 3 units crippled by 8001050F error likely due to calendar rollover screw up
March 1, 2010
by shf
FOSTER CITY, Calif. (FASTLAUGH.com) — Demonstrating a cautionary tale of the extraordinary power being ceded by humanity to advanced technology, and being wielded by seemingly innocuous calendar bugs to thoroughly disrupt daily life in our technology-dependant [...]

¶ Posted 01 March 2010 § BUSINESS § ENTERTAINMENT § SCI/TECH § SOCIETY § shf ‡ Comments (0) ° Also tagged: 2010 Prius, 8001050F error, 999, abacus, advanced technology, apoplectic, Attila the Hun, automobile recalls, beads, boredom, botch job, brake problems, brakes, calendar bugs, calendar error, calendar glitch, calendar reset, Calendar rollover problems, catapults, cautionary tale, complacency, computer programmer, corrupt data, crusader, dependency, derision, disruption, distribution errors, dolls, drawbridges, dumbass, edge of the world, electronics, embarrassing meltdown, expiration date, explorer, explorer’s ship, falling off the edge of the world, fat PS3, fiasco, firmware, firmware update, Flash Flood, frequent crusader miles, GPS, hacker, hacking, havoc, Heavy Rain, hysteria, internet, Japan Inc., knights, leap-year, leap-year calendar glitch, log on, logging in, malfunctions, mass hysteria, mead, Medieval Express cards, meltdown, merchants, missing data, moats, Mr. Barbarian, navigation, navigation systems, online gaming, parts shortages, party like it’s 1999, payroll error, peasant, pillories, PlayStation 3, PlayStation Network, prince, Prius, PS3, PS3-exclusive game, PSN, racks, recalls, redux, revolt, ritual sacrifice, robots, rollover, screw ups, seemingly innocuous calendar bugs, shipping errors, shortages, singing, slim line PS3, slim PS3, songs, Sony, Sony's PlayStation 3, startup routine, sundial, synchronization problems, tech savvy, technicians, technologist, technology-dependant world, timers, toy stalls, Toyota, toys, trained technician, troll, trophy data, trophy-sync check, Twitter, user base, vehicle recalls, vulnerability, window of vulnerability, WTF, Y1K, Y2K, Y2K consultant

Sanford to be featured in PETA ad, replacing Tiger Woods

Sanford to be featured in PETA ad, replacing Tiger Woods
February 28, 2010
by shf
CHARLESTON, S.C. (FASTLAUGH.com) – South Carolina’s randy, philandering Governor Mark Sanford has been selected to replace Tiger Woods as the new poster boy for an upcoming ‘Spay or Neuter’ ad campaign by animal rights group PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals).
PETA’s [...]

¶ Posted 28 February 2010 § POLITICS § SOCIETY § SPORTS § shf ‡ Comments (3) ° Also tagged: abuse of trust, ad campaign, advertising, animal rights, Appalachian Trail, Argentina, attorney, bear, billboard, blogger, cat, defamation, derision, disappearance, divorce, dog, fallen public figures, four-legged, free speech, goodwill, Governor, hiking, international headlines, Jenny Sanford, lawsuit, lawyer, legal, lover, mainstream media, Mark Sanford, maul, media, mockery, neuter, People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, pet, PETA, philandering, poster boy, public derision, public figures, publicity, ridicule, rights, satire, scorn, sex, sexual transgressions, slogan, soul-mate, South America, South Carolina, spay, speculation, spokesperson, stick in the eye, tiger, Tiger Woods, tragic, trust, vanishing act, WTF

Holland America disappointed by minor tsunami in Hawaii, looks forward to Indian Ocean typhoon season

Holland America disappointed by minor tsunami in Hawaii, looks forward to Indian Ocean typhoon season
February 27, 2010
by shf
SEATTLE, Wash. (FASTLAUGH.com) — Despite being clearly disappointed that the tsunami in Hawaii did not live up to their eager anticipation and expectations earlier today, senior executives at Holland America Lines — based in Seattle, Washington — were [...]

¶ Posted 27 February 2010 § WORLD § shf ‡ Comments (0) ° Also tagged: 8.8 magnitutude Chilean earthquake, Bangladesh, category 3, Chile, Chilean earthquake, contingency plan, disaster, Disaster Zone Cruising, earthquake, haiti, Hawaii, Hawaii tsunami, Holland America, hurricane, Hurricane Cruise, Indian Ocean, Labadee, Mexican Riviera, revenue-generating opportunity, Royal Caribbean Lines, Seattle Washington, SS Veendam, trends, tsunami, tsunami cruise, typhoon, typhoon season, WTF

Tsunami Cruises to Hawaii, latest trend in Disaster Zone Cruising

Tsunami Cruises to Hawaii, latest trend in Disaster Zone Cruising
February 27, 2010
by shf
SEATTLE, Wash. (FASTLAUGH.com) — Determined not to be outdone by rival Royal Caribbean Lines’ successful Disaster Zone Cruises to Haiti during last month’s devastating earthquake, Holland America Lines — based in Seattle, Washington — is rapidly mobilizing contingency plans to take advantage of [...]

¶ Posted 27 February 2010 § WORLD § shf ‡ Comments (0) ° Also tagged: Chilean earthquake, China, contingency plan, disaster, Disaster Zone Cruising, earthquake, elitist, Fox News, haiti, Hawaii, Hawaii tsunami, Holland America, hurricane, Hurricane Cruise, Labadee, Mexican Riviera, Palin, President, Royal Caribbean Lines, Sarah Palin, Seattle Washington, SS Veendam, trends, tsunami, tsunami cruise, U.S. foreign debt, WTF

Cuss Free Week coming to California

Cuss Free Week coming to California
February 25, 2010
by shf
SACRAMENTO, Calif. (FASTLAUGH.com) — Despite the massive budgetary disaster that threatens to sink California deep into the Pacific, State Assemblyman Anthony Portantino (D-La Canada Flintridge) flagrantly wasted taxpayers time and money this morning by introducing legislation to consider making next week a statewide profanity-free week.
He was [...]

¶ Posted 25 February 2010 § POLITICS § shf ‡ Comments (0) ° Also tagged: Anthony Portantino, blush, budgetary disaster, California, California State Assembly, cursing, Cuss Free Week, cussing, debate, Democrats, dumbass, F word, GOP, grandma, hell, La Canada Flintridge, legislation, legislature, profanity, Republicans, resolution, Sacramento, shithead, State Senate, swearing, taxpayers, WTF

Plushenko awarded Polonium-210 medal

Plushenko awarded Polonium-210 medal
February 24, 2010
by shf
VANCOUVER, B.C. (FASTLAUGH.com) — Olympic figure skater, and classless sore loser, Evgeni Plushenko was unanimously awarded a Polonium-210 medal in Vancouver yesterday.
The special medal was awarded to the Russian skater for exhibiting extremely disrespectful behavior towards the International Olympic Committee and towards his fellow competitors.
Said an Olympian who insisted [...]

¶ Posted 24 February 2010 § SPORTS § shf ‡ Comments (0) ° Also tagged: awards, Canada, classless, Evgeni Plushenko, figure skating, International Olympic committee, IOC, medals, Olympics, platinum medal, Plushenko, Polonium-210, Russian, silver medal, skating, sore loser, unsportsmanlike conduct, Vancouver, WTF

Mississippi Gov. Haley Barbour, Toyota apologist

Mississippi Gov. Haley Barbour, Toyota apologist
February 24, 2010
by shf
JACKSON, Miss. (FASTLAUGH.com) — Mississippi Gov. Haley Barbour elaborated on assertions made in his Toyota op-ed piece appearing in The Washington Post this morning, directly placing full blame for the Toyota fiasco on President Obama and his cadre of liberal lawmakers in Congress for their continued insistance [...]

¶ Posted 24 February 2010 § POLITICS § shf ‡ Comments (0) ° Also tagged: America, apologist, assembly plant, attack, automobiles, backwater, blame, car, Congress, dangerous precedent, economic consequences, economy, employers, fiasco, Haley Barbour, hearings, House of Representatives, ill-informed voters, jobs, jobs over safety, lawmakers, liberals, Mississippi, Obama, Obama administration, President Obama, Prius, Republicans, safety, safety standards, Senate, socialist, term-limit, Toyota, vehicles, voters, Washington, White House, WTF

Limbaugh issues statement on Cheney cardiac episode

Limbaugh issues statement on Cheney cardiac episode
Febraury 23, 2010
by shf
WASHINGTON (FASTLAUGH.com) — Bloviating archconservative U.S. radio host Rush Limbaugh quickly took to the airwaves this afternoon to issue the following statement regarding former U.S. Vice President Dick Cheney’s recent cardiac episode:
“First, let me assure you — my loyal and obediant servants — that my dear [...]

¶ Posted 23 February 2010 § POLITICS § shf ‡ Comments (0) ° Also tagged: airwaves, archconservative, audience, autonomic nervous system, blessings, bloviate, cardiac, catheterization, Cheney, chest pain, Christmas, conscience, conservative, death panels, diagnosis, doctors, emotions, Hawaii, Healthcare, heart, heart attack, holiday season, hospital, liberals, listeners, medical insurance, medical tests, odds of survival, pain, pampered white guys, Phantom Heart Syndrome, polls, radio, radio host, ratings, rich white guys, Rush Limbaugh, screeds, socialized medicine, soul, spasms, stress test, Valentine's Day, vestigial emotions, WTF

Toyota dealership unaware of recall

Toyota dealership unaware of recall
February 23, 2010
by shf
TORRANCE, Calif. (FASTLAUGH.com) — Despite rabid media and congressional attention focused on the massive failures of Toyota Motor Corp. for a host of safety issues, at least one Toyota dealership in Southern California was in the dark regarding details of the recall of millions of vehicles, to the [...]

¶ Posted 23 February 2010 § BUSINESS § shf ‡ Comments (1) ° Also tagged: accelerator pedal, anger, auto dealership, automobile, car, Congress, congressional district, criminal investigation, defect, ethics, Fail Whale, failure, fiasco, General Motors, GM, jobs, lawmakers, lobbyist, media, Prius, profits, recall, safety, semantics, Toyota, Twitter, vehicle, WTF

Fiorina’s next Demon Ruminant attack ad to accuse Campbell of being a Yaks and Spend Republican

Fiorina’s next Demon Ruminant attack ad to accuse Campbell of being a Yaks and Spend Republican
February 8, 2010
by shf
[...] Unaltered photo (MPR Photo/Ambar Espinoza) @ http://minnesota.publicradio.org/display/web/2008/12/19/yak_farmer/

¶ Posted 08 February 2010 § POLITICS § shf ‡ Comments (0) ° Also tagged: attack ad, California, campaigns, candidates, Carly, Carly Fiorina, conservatives, deception, deceptive advertising, demon sheep, demon yak, Fiorina, humor in advertising, internet ads, pandering, Republicans, right-wing, ruminants, Senate, sheep, Tax and Spend Republican, Tom Campbell, WTF, yak, Yaks and Spend Republican

Palin 2012 T-shirt, MY HEART BELONGS TO A PALM READER, selling briskly

Palin 2012 T-shirt, MY HEART BELONGS TO A PALM READER, selling briskly
February 7, 2010
by shf
FASTLAUGH.com
[...] T-shirt with the slogan MY HEART BELONGS TO A PALM READER (minus the Sarah Palin image and the Palin 2012 text) @ cafepress.com

¶ Posted 07 February 2010 § POLITICS § shf ‡ Comments (0) ° Also tagged: 2012 presidential campaign, cheater, conservative, crib notes, GOP, Nashville, Palin, Palin 2012, palm, Palm Reader, POTUS, Presidency, Republicans, Sarah Palin, T-shirts, Tea Party Convention, TelePalm, WTF

Fiorina’s Sheep ad fleeces facts

Fiorina’s Sheep ad fleeces facts
February 7, 2010
by shf
SAN FRANCISCO (FASTLAUGH.com) — Republican Senate candidate Carly Fiorina fleeced the facts when she pandered to the far right with her recent internet Sheep ad in a desperate and transparent bid to use humor as a cover for her deception, and to ingratiate herself with the Republican party’s [...]

¶ Posted 07 February 2010 § POLITICS § shf ‡ Comments (0) ° Also tagged: alpacas, antelope, attack ad, bison, camels, campaigns, candidates, Carly, Carly Fiorina, cattle, conservatives, deception, deceptive advertising, deer, demon sheep, Fiorina, fleece, giraffes, goats, humor in advertising, internet ads, llamas, mammals, nilgai, Oakland CA, pandering, press conference, pronghorn, Republicans, right-wing, ruminants, Senate, sheep, Tom Campbell, water buffalo, wildebeest, WTF, yak

Edwards sex tape leaked

Edwards sex tape leaked
February 07, 2010
by shf
PITTSBORO, N.C. (FASTLAUGH.com) — Superior Court Judge Abraham Penn Jones sternly demanded under threat of contempt that Andrew Young, sycophant former aide to two-time presidential candidate John Edwards, relinquish to his court by next Wednesday, the flagrante delicto video featuring Edwards and his then-pregnant mistress Rielle Hunter that Young [...]

¶ Posted 07 February 2010 § POLITICS § shf ‡ Comments (0) ° Also tagged: Andrew Young, Atlanta, citizenry, coiffed, comb, comtempt of court, court, Democrats, distractions, flagrante delicto, hairbrush, haircut, John Edwards, mistress, Pants on the Ground, pregnant mistress, presidential candidate, Red Ink, Rielle Hunter, safety deposit box, sex, sex tape, sycophant, tattoo, tattoo parlor, tramp stamp, viral video, WTF, YouTube

Clunkers for Toyotas

Clunkers for Toyotas
February 5, 2010
by shf
WASHINGTON (FASTLAUGH.com) — The Obama administration smacked the smug off the corporate face of Japanese auto giant Toyota this afternoon, holding an emergency press conference to announce an unprecedented relief program for U.S. consumers stuck with defective Toyota vehicles.
U.S. Department of Transportation Deputy Secretary John D. Porcari, reading from a [...]

¶ Posted 05 February 2010 § BUSINESS § shf ‡ Comments (0) ° Also tagged: Accelerator Pedal Assembly Friction Devices, Auto industry, automobile, billion dollar, Bo (Obama's dog), cars, Cash for Clunkers, Clunkers for Toyotas, consumers, defective, Department of Transportation, Drill Baby Drill, emergency bailout, federal government, gas-guzzlers, government, Japan, John D. Porcari, muzzle, Obama administration, oil, Prius, Ray LaHood, right-wing, ritual suicide, stimulus funds, stockpile, Toyota, Transportation Secretary, WTF

Zsa Zsa as California’s First Princess?

Zsa Zsa as California’s First Princess?
January 25, 2010
by shf
WEST HOLLYWOOD, Calif. (FASTLAUGH.com) — Hungarian-born actress and socialite Zsa Zsa Gabor’s ninth husband, Prince Frederic von Anhalt, 65, held a news conference in West Hollywood on Monday to unveil a huge billboard of himself outfitted as a Park Avenue doorman, and to announce his quixotic independent [...]

¶ Posted 26 January 2010 § POLITICS § shf ‡ Comments (0) ° Also tagged: 60s sitcoms, affairs, amnesty, Anna Nicole Smith, babies, Belair, billboard, broad amnesty, California, campaign, cop-slapping, countryside, daughters, doorman, earworm, Eva Gabor, farming, fiscally conservative, gay marraige, German-born, Governor, Green Acres, headline-seeking, illegal immigrants, legalization of marijuana, Lisa Douglas, marijuana, news conference, Park Avenue, Playboy magazine, POLITICS, pot, prince, Prince Frederic von Anhalt, princess, props, quixotic, Republicans, Rodeo Drive, Sacramento, Schwarzenegger, sitcoms, slap cops, socialite, socially liberal, stores, theme songs, whores, Zsa Zsa Gabor

Leno wangles chance to bomb in former slot

Leno wangles chance to bomb in former slot
January 22, 2010
by shf
BURBANK, Calif. (FASTLAUGH.com) — Affiliates 1, NBC 0, Conan $45,000,000.
Shortly after reaching a forty-five million dollar exit deal with Conan O’Brien, and yielding to a withering firestorm from burned affiliates earlier this month, panicked NBC executives yesterday revealed their latest scheme to restore wangling late-night [...]

¶ Posted 22 January 2010 § ENTERTAINMENT § shf ‡ Comments Off ° Also tagged: advertising, advertising revenue, affiliates, attention-span, audience, boredom, Burbank, Conan O’Brien, drivel, ego, ENTERTAINMENT, executives, face-saving, infomercials, interstitials, Jay Leno, Jeff Gaspin, late-night, Leno, local news, M*A*S*H, NBC, NBC Universal Television Entertainment, newscast, prime-time, reruns, revenue, Tonight Show, TV, viewership, yacker

Edwards confesses paternity, continues denials of campaign fund misuse

Edwards confesses paternity, continues denials of campaign fund misuse
January 21, 2010
by shf
CHARLOTTE, N.C. (FASTLAUGH.com) – With his credibility irrevocably shattered after finally admitting this morning that he fathered a child with his mistress while his wife was valiantly battling incurable cancer, former North Carolina senator and failed presidential candidate John Edwards continues to find himself [...]

¶ Posted 21 January 2010 § POLITICS § shf ‡ Comments (0) ° Also tagged: affair, Bernie Madoff, brush (hair), campaign, campaign finance, cancer, cellmate, comb (hair), confession, credibility, daughter, Democratic, Democrats, denials, Elizabeth Edwards, fall from grace, federal grand jury, hair, John Edwards, love child, lustrous hair, mistress, nomination, North Carolina, paternity, POLITICS, presidential candidate, prison, Quinn, quixotic, Rielle Hunter, self-delusion, senator, silence, Tiger Woods

Labadee, Ladeedah

Labadee, Ladeedah
January 20, 2010
by shf
PORT-AU-PRINCE, Haiti (FASTLAUGH.com) – Royal Caribbean International fired back at its critics today for challenging its decision to continue port calls on its private Labadee resort located just 135 km from the horrific scenes of death and devastation in Port-au-Prince.
Royal Caribbean’s President and CEO, Adam Goldstein, in defending his company’s strategic [...]

¶ Posted 20 January 2010 § WORLD § shf ‡ Comments (0) ° Also tagged: angels, Bangladesh, bar, barbeque, beach, Beatles, cocktails, cruise, death, Desmond, desperation, devastation, disaster, earthquake, economy, family, food, haiti, heaven, Holland America, hurricane, karaoke, Labadee, lyrics, Mexican Riviera, Mexico, mojito, Obladi Oblada, parody, Port-au-Prince, resorts, Royal Caribbean, rubble, satirist, sun, survivors, swim-up bar, tanning, typhoon, Veendam, water

Healthcare reform in hypocritical condition

Healthcare reform in hypocritical condition
by shf
January 10, 2009
WASHINGTON (FASTLAUGH.com) — Congress further dilutes healthcare reform as the usual partisan hacks point fingers and hurl accusations at each other for meaningless political gain over the day’s talking points and news cycle… That says it all for the moment.

¶ Posted 10 January 2010 § POLITICS § shf ‡ Comments Off ° Also tagged: Democrats, Healthcare, House of Representatives, hypocrisy, Republicans, Senate, U.S. Congress

Limbaugh: Tests confirm no heart, “Phantom Heart Syndrome”

Limbaugh: Tests confirm no heart, “Phantom Heart Syndrome”
by shf
January 3, 2010
HONOLULU (FASTLAUGH.com) – Archconservative U.S. radio host Rush Limbaugh took to the airwaves this morning to assure his faithful listeners that he was on the mend following two days of testing and hospitalization upon experiencing what he characterized as “…excruciating chest pains, the likes of [...]

¶ Posted 03 January 2010 § POLITICS § shf ‡ Comments (0) ° Also tagged: airwaves, angiogram, archconservative, audience, autonomic nervous system, blessings, bloviate, chest pain, Christmas, conscience, conservative, diagnosis, doctors, emotions, Hawaii, Healthcare, heart, holiday season, Honolulu, hospital, liberals, listeners, medical tests, on the mend, pain, Phantom Heart Syndrome, polls, radio, radio host, ratings, resorts, Rush Limbaugh, screeds, shaving, soul, spasms, vacation, vestigial emotions

MTV scraps plans for South Padre

MTV scraps plans for South Padre
by shf
January 1, 2010
NEW YORK (FASTLAUGH.com) – MTV abruptly announced yesterday that it had scrapped plans for the new reality show, South Padre, modeled after its hit series Jurzee Shore, due to a new Texas law placing heavy restrictions on teen tanning that goes into effect today.
South Padre had been [...]

¶ Posted 01 January 2010 § ENTERTAINMENT § shf ‡ Comments (0) ° Also tagged: Gulf Coast, Jersey Shore, Jurzee, Jurzee Shore, laws, MTV, New Jersey, South Padre Island, tanning, Teens, Texas, TV

FastLaugh.com Poll: Biggest Crotch Bombs of 2009

FastLaugh.com Poll: Biggest Crotch Bombs of 2009
December 30, 2009
by shf
DESERT PALMS, Calif. (FASTLAUGH.com) — The results are now final…
Despite a very spirited and thankfully unsuccessful last-week-of-the-year-challenge by Umar Farouk Abdul Mutallab, the winner of FastLaugh’s “Who’s the biggest Crotch Bomb of 2009?” poll is…
Tiger Woods
As recently as a few weeks ago it appeared that Mark [...]

¶ Posted 30 December 2009 § SOCIETY § shf ‡ Comments (0) ° Also tagged: air travel, Amsterdam, Appalachian Trail, Bernie Madoff, charts, crotch bomb, Detroit, fall from grace, graphs, John Edwards, Mark Sanford, Northwest Airlines, South Carolina, terrorism, Tiger Woods, UFAM, Umar Farouk Abdul Mutallab

Tiger Woods sweeps PGA Tour’s top two awards

Tiger Woods sweeps PGA Tour’s top two awards
December 19, 2009
by shf
PONTE VEDRA BEACH, Fla. (FASTLAUGH.com) – Tiger Woods, boosted by the recent implosion of his golfing career, his family life, and most significantly his extramarital sex life, swept both of the PGA Tour’s top awards for the first time this year.
It’s the tenth time in [...]

¶ Posted 19 December 2009 § SPORTS § shf ‡ Comments (0) ° Also tagged: awards, Bad Boy, balloting, career, chip shot, extramarital sex, family life, generous, golf, John Daly, PGA, scandals, sex, sexting, texting, Tiger Woods, voting, Woodsing

Tehranosaurus Wrecks Twitter

Tehranosaurus Wrecks Twitter
by shf
December 18, 2009
SAN FRANCISCO, Calif. (FASTLAUGH.com) – Iranian Cyber Army 1, Twitter 0.
Twitter challenges rematch, proposes best two-out-of-three.

¶ Posted 18 December 2009 § SCI/TECH § shf ‡ Comments (0) ° Also tagged: army, cyber, hacker, Iran, Iranian Cyber Army, Tehranosaurus, Twitter

First Bank of Madoff issuing 79.9% interest credit card

First Bank of Madoff issuing 79.9% interest credit card
December 17, 2009
by shf
BUTNER, N.C. (FASTLAUGH.com) — The First Bank of Madoff skirted newly enacted credit card interest regulations today, introducing a 79.9 percent interest credit card. It had been widely believed that Bernie Madoff’s prison financial interests were limited solely to controlling the distribution of [...]

¶ Posted 17 December 2009 § BUSINESS § shf ‡ Comments (0) ° Also tagged: 79.9%, Bernie Madoff, credit, credit card, financial abuse, First Bank of Madoff, First Premier Bank, interest regulations, loopholes, Ponzi, prison, subprime, Twitter, U.S. consumers, Zhu Zhu Pets

Britain checks cheques after three centuries

Britain checks cheques after three centuries
Dec 16, 2009
by shf
LONDON (FASTLAUGH.com) – Three centuries on, but now bounced from a fourth, the unassuming yet versatile cheque was stamped void as of 2018 in Britain after getting the slip today by British banks advocating the return to a financial system based upon the peat moss standard from [...]

¶ Posted 16 December 2009 § BUSINESS § shf ‡ Comments (0) ° Also tagged: banking, Britain, budget cuts, century, check, cheque, chequebook (checkbook), currency, days of yore, financial system, government misspending, infestation, mattress, peat moss, Pied Piper, plague, quills, rodent, Royal Mail, Samuel Pepys

Lieberman disputes claims of apology to senate colleagues over healthcare tension

Lieberman disputes claims of apology to senate colleagues over healthcare tension
By shf
December 15, 2009
WASHINGTON (FASTLAUGH.com) – Sen. Joe Lieberman (Conn.) told his Democratic colleagues at the White House today that despite begrudgingly having “maybe, perhaps, only the itsy, bitsy, teenie, weeniest speck of regret” for creating a paralyzing legislative logjam and the ensuing tension within [...]

¶ Posted 16 December 2009 § POLITICS § shf ‡ Comments (1) ° Also tagged: Amtrak, anger, apology, Biden, big juicy burger, Capitol Hill, color psychology, Congress, Connecticut, Democrats, Dodd, emotions, fries, Gillibrand, government, government misspending, greasy fries, Hadassah Lieberman, health insurance, healthcare debate, hostility, Joe Lieberman, Joementum, Joey the Veep, Lautenberg, Medicare, Menendez, New Jersey, New York, Schumer, sticky vanilla shake, Tri-state, U.S. Senator, vote, White House

Jurzee Shore, “A Very Tanned New Year’s Eve”

Jurzee Shore, “A Very Tanned New Year’s Eve”
[SPOILER ALERT] – Jurzee Shore, Season 2: Back at the Beach, Episode 2.3, “A Very Tanned New Year’s Eve” – Air Date 12.31.09 – The gang’s New Year’s Eve plans are short-circuited when a breakaway mylar balloon gets tangled in a nearby electric pole, knocking out all power [...]

¶ Posted 16 December 2009 § ENTERTAINMENT § shf ‡ Comments (0) ° Also tagged: balloon, beach, gel, Guidette, Guido, Jersey Shore, Jurzee, MTV, New Jersey, New Year's Eve, power failure, tanning, tanning bed

Octopus has got a lovely bunch of coconuts

Octopus has got a lovely bunch of coconuts
December 15, 2009
by shf
SYDNEY (FASTLAUGH.com) – Marine biologists in Australia revealed a stunning discovery this week – an octopus in Indonesia that gathers coconut shells for shelter and then later reuses them as a form of currency for bartering in the underwater economy prevalent in that part of [...]

¶ Posted 15 December 2009 § SCI/TECH § shf ‡ Comments (0) ° Also tagged: animal, Australia, barter, biology, cephalopod, coconut, coleoidea, crabs, currency, economy, evolution, financial system, fish, Future Biology, Indonesia, invertebrate, marine biologist, nap, ocean, Octopus, scallops, shell, shelter, shrimp, tool

LeBron filches fries, fries fan

LeBron filches fries, fries fan
December 14, 2009
by shf
OKLAHOMA CITY, OK (FASTLAUGH.com) – A ridiculous new food abuse trend has engulfed the sports world of late, as coaches such as Brian Kelly (Notre Dame’s new coach) are having their homes pelted with eggs thrown by angry fans, and players such as Cleveland’s LeBron James are now [...]

¶ Posted 14 December 2009 § SPORTS § shf ‡ Comments (0) ° Also tagged: angry fans, basketball, Cavaliers, cheese, eggs, fans, food abuse, free, French fries, fries, jalapeno, kettles, LeBron James, molten, nacho cheese sauce, Oklahoma City, players, sports world, Thunder, vendor

Miracle on the Jurzee Shore

Miracle on the Jurzee Shore
December 14, 2009
by shf
(FASTLAUGH.com) Reminder to self… must remember to program TiVo to record the heartwarming, upcoming Christmas episode of MTV’s Jurzee Shore, “Miracle on the Jurzee Shore,” as two of the wannabe Guidos, Ronnie and Mike, run out of gel on Christmas Eve and learn to appreciate the true meaning [...]

¶ Posted 14 December 2009 § ENTERTAINMENT § shf ‡ Comments (0) ° Also tagged: beach, Christmas Eve, family, friends, gel, Guidette, Guido, Jersey Shore, Jurzee, miracle, MTV, New Jersey, tanning, tanning bed, TiVo, wannabe

Tiger Woods Bad Boys of Miniature Golf Pro-Am Tournament Weekend

EXTRA! EXTRA! *** Read all about it! *** News from 2011! *** Why wait a whole ‘nother year when you can get it here today! *** EXTRA! EXTRA!
Tiger Woods Bad Boys of Miniature Golf Pro-Am Tournament Weekend
January 3, 2011
by shf
EL CENTRO, Calif. (FASTLAUGH.com) – Radio and TV stations, billboards, and the last two newpapers remaining [...]

¶ Posted 13 December 2009 § SPORTS § shf ‡ Comments (1) ° Also tagged: 2011, advertising blitz, asses, babe magnet, bad boys, billboards, California, career, celebrity, cell phone, Coachella Valley, comebacks, cute young mommies, El Centro, expo, EXTRA! EXTRA!, extramarital sex life, fair, fairgrounds, family life, fiesta, golf, huge asses, Imperial Valley, kids, knee surgery, lawyer, loopholes, Mexicali, miniature golf, mobile phone, newspapers, Paul Rodriguez, prenup, pro-am, putt-putt, Queen, radio, radio and TV stations, RV, Salton Sea, scandal, sex, sex life, snowbirds, surgery, text message, Tiger Woods, Tigress, tournament, tri-valley region, TV, weather

Palin promoting pop-up version of her bestselling book

Palin promoting pop-up version of her bestselling book
December 11, 2009
by shf
WASILLA, Alaska (FASTLAUGH.com) – Basking in adoration from the publicity blitz for her New York Times bestselling book, Going Rogue, former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin announced this afternoon that her publisher has greenlighted production of a pop-up, musical version of her book for children and [...]

¶ Posted 11 December 2009 § POLITICS § shf ‡ Comments (0) ° Also tagged: bestsellers, books, children's books, Going Rogue, Palin, political supporters, pop-up, publicity, publishing, reading, Sarah Palin

Australia anticipating development boom in Outback from massive iceberg

Australia anticipating development boom in Outback from massive iceberg
Dec 11, 2009
by shf
SYDNEY (FASTLAUGH.com) – Australian Economic Development officials issued a wildly optimistic assessment today regarding the gigantic iceberg floating directly towards the country’s southwest coast.
The Bureau of Meteorology reported that the ice behemoth, which split from the vast Antarctic ice shelf several years ago and [...]

¶ Posted 11 December 2009 § WORLD § shf ‡ Comments (0) ° Also tagged: Alice Springs, Antarctic, Australia, bonzer, casino, development boom, Economic Development, fake lake, glaciologist, global warming, golf, golf courses, grass, iceberg, lakes, Mini-me, mother lode, myth, ocean, Outback, Outback Restaurant, pure water, reservoir, resorts, sea temperature, shrimp-on-the-barbie, slang, strip mall, unsustainable, water, Wollongong-Fairy Meadow

Sanford divorce filing

Sanford divorce filing
December 11, 2009
by shf
CHARLESTON, S.C. (FASTLAUGH.com) – Jenny Sanford, South Carolina’s gracious and dignified first lady, filed divorce papers today on the grounds of adultery following months of fruitless reconcilliation attempts with Governor Mark Sanford, her husband of two decades.
Gov. Sanford and his ’stimulus package’ disappeared for several days in late June to [...]

¶ Posted 11 December 2009 § POLITICS § shf ‡ Comments (0) ° Also tagged: adultery, affairs, Appalachian Trail, Argentina, bear, crying, disappearance, divorce, eaten by a bear, forbidden, golf, Governor, hiking, loyal staffers, Mark Sanford, mauled, moral failure, POLITICS, radio silence, sneaking, soul-mate, South Carolina, stimulus package, tears, Tiger Woods, warnings

Windows 7 installation bug resolved

Windows 7 installation bug resolved
December 10, 2009
by shf
REDMOND, Wash. (FASTLAUGH.com) — With the launch of Windows 7 now several weeks old, nearly one-third of users have reported problems with upgrading to Windows 7, claiming that the process is buggy.
The most common gripe is that the half-day upgrade process gets to the 62% completed point and [...]

¶ Posted 10 December 2009 § SCI/TECH § shf ‡ Comments Off ° Also tagged: 62%, advanced degree, advanced settings, Bro, bugs (computer), calculations, coding, computer science, computers, critical Windows 7 bugs, fixes, golden ratio, Graham's number, hack, hard drive, installation, inverse golden ratio, irrational mathematical constant, mathematics, mean derived value, Microsoft, operating systems, physics, Pi, registry hack, software, software upgrades, Windows 7, workarounds

Google claims naming rights to still nameless decade

Google claims naming rights to still nameless decade
December 9, 2009
by shf
MOUNTAIN VIEW, Calif. (FASTLAUGH.com) – With only three weeks remaining until the end of the 00’s, Americans are still clueless when it comes to agreeing what to call the past decade despite having had ten years to figure it out.
The Zeroes? I don’t think so…
The [...]

¶ Posted 09 December 2009 § SCI/TECH § shf ‡ Comments (0) ° Also tagged: 1970s, 2000, announcements, anthropology, assertions, Aughts, catchphrase, cluelessness, decade, end of decade, extortion, eye wear, forgetfulness, Google, indecision, labels, leaks, linguistics, nameless decade, naming rights, NYC, Ohhhs, Phil Ology, professor, short attention span, slogan, Teens, The Me Decade, The Twoogles Decade, Times Square, Tom Wolfe, UC Berkeley, Y2K, Yahoo!, Zeroes

Tiniest apartment in NYC

Tiniest apartment in New York City
December 6, 2009
by shf
NEW YORK, NY (FASTLAUGH.com) – Zahara and Charles Prokow — and their two cats — live in the tiniest apartment in the city, an 80-square-foot micro-studio one hundred feet below Grand Central Station that the couple bought three months ago for $150,000.
At 8 feet long and 10 [...]

¶ Posted 08 December 2009 § SOCIETY § shf ‡ Comments (0) ° Also tagged: apartment, bunk, cats, claustrophobic, convenience, dank, Grand Central Station, hole in the wall, home ownership, hotplate, jail cell, Manhattan, Manhattan real estate, Metro-North, micro-studio, mortgage, NYC, real estate, sink, stratosphere, subterranean, subway car, sucks, tiny, tiny apartment, toilet, train station, trains, ventilation, windowlesss

Poll finds sexting a growing trend among seniors

Poll finds sexting a growing trend among seniors
December 3, 2009
by shf
WASHINGTON (FASTLAUGH.com) — Think your grandma isn’t “sexting”?
Think again.
Sexting — sharing sexually explicit photos, videos and chat by cell phone or online — now fairly commonplace with young people, is an emerging trend among seniors. More than ten percent of seniors have been involved in [...]

¶ Posted 03 December 2009 § SOCIETY § shf ‡ Comments (0) ° Also tagged: AARP, brains, broken hips, cell phone, chat, children, consequences, dating, decision making, elderly, felony, flirtation, grandchildren, grandma, grandpa, great-grandchildren, hooking up, mobile phone, mortality, nude pictures, nursing home, online, photos, poll, relationships, research, romance, seniors, sex, sexting, sexually explicit photos, sexually explicit videos, sociology, teenagers sexting, trends, videos

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