Tiger Woods, boosted by the recent implosion of his golfing career, his family life, and most significantly his extramarital sex life, swept both of the PGA Tour's top awards for the first time this year. (U.S. Government photo in the public domain)
Tiger Woods sweeps PGA Tour’s top two awards
December 19, 2009
by shf
PONTE VEDRA BEACH, Fla. (FASTLAUGH.com) – Tiger Woods, boosted by the recent implosion of his golfing career, his family life, and most significantly his extramarital sex life, swept both of the PGA Tour’s top awards for the first time this year.
It’s the tenth time in his thirteen years on the tour that fellow players have selected him as the PGA Player of the Year, and his first ever selection as the PGA Tour’s Bad Boy of the Year.
In praising Woods, former Bad Boy of the Year, John “Long John” Daly, enthused, “Tiger has been our up-and-coming bad boy for a while now. For years, ya know, I received so much of the attention… so it’s really great now to see him getting all of the focus he’s brought to himself and justly deserves.”
Players have been voting for the awards for the past month, and the balloting concluded on Friday.
A veteran tour golfer, interviewed off the record (but speaking on behalf of several other long-time tour golfers), confided that, “we pretty much all had sent in our ballots before the Tiger scandal blew open in the media anyway. We had already unanimously voted to award him the Bad Boy of the Year for the first time. Player of the Year doesn’t get Tiger excited much anymore… that one has been a shoo-in for him most years.”
The golfer continued, “…but, c’mon… this one… this one really means something to him, especially now with Elin taking away his golf clubs. We’re really going to miss him. He’s a very generous guy, you know… always, always, always when we hang out with Tiger, there’s plenty of chip shots left over for the rest of us. For months now, most of the tour players have been referring to sexting as “Woodsing.’”