Sanford to be featured in PETA ad, replacing Tiger Woods
February 28, 2010
by shf
CHARLESTON, S.C. (FASTLAUGH.com) – South Carolina’s randy, philandering Governor Mark Sanford has been selected to replace Tiger Woods as the new poster boy for an upcoming ‘Spay or Neuter’ ad campaign by animal rights group PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals).
PETA’s decision to drop Woods from the most recent of their continuing line of edgy campaigns follows what is now widely believed to have been a threatened defamation lawsuit from Woods’ lawyers after it was revealed that PETA intended to erect a satirical billboard advertisement featuring Woods.
The Woods billboard was to feature the tag line, “Too much sex can be a bad thing….for little tigers too. Help keep your cats (and dogs) out of trouble: Always spay or neuter!”
Despite Woods repeatedly defaming himself by his own words and deeds — and clearly being fair game for the media and other organizations desiring to exercise their rights to free speech regarding public figures — PETA apparently backed down from a challenge by Woods’ fleet of attorneys when it was evident that they could make an equally strong and compelling point by poking a proverbial ‘stick in the eye’ of the much deserving Sanford.
A PETA spokesperson commented, “Hey, we got lots of free publicity on this one, and it enabled us to highlight the tragic plight of countless unwanted, unloved and often abused or destroyed animals in the U.S., simply by announcing our intention to heap more well-deserved scorn upon Woods as a fallen public figure who abused the trust and the goodwill of millions. That worked out very well for us and even better for our helpless four-legged friends!”
Sanford’s disappearance made international headlines for several days last June when he suddenly and mysteriously disappeared in order to spend some quality time in Argentina with his lover and “soul-mate.” His vanishing act left his wife, family, staff, and ultimately the nation, wildly speculating about his whereabouts.
The extensive public derision and international fame he has achieved since that time for his sexual transgressions (culminating with a judge granting his now ex-wife — Jenny Sanford — a divorce on Friday), gives PETA plenty of latitude for mockery of him as the replacement for Woods.
The PETA spokesperson added, “…Sanford, as yet another in a long line of fallen public figures, makes an ideal substitution for Woods in our new ad campaign. As you may recall, when Sanford’s loyal staffers covered for him by informing the media that he was hiking alone along the Appalachian Trail, many assumed that his disappearance meant that he had been mauled and eaten by a bear. At this point, he probably wishes that he had been mauled and eaten by a bear rather than having to endure the steady pecking, ridicule and mockery that has been coming at him from the mainstream media and bloggers alike. We’re thinking of going with the slogan, “Your dog doesn’t have to go to South America to get laid. Help keep your cats (and dogs) out of trouble: Always spay or neuter!”
Couldn’t happen to a nicer guy!
Mark Sanford parody on YouTube (with apologies to the beleaguered citizens of South Carolina)