Edwards confesses paternity, continues denials of campaign fund misuse

John Edwards is now a leading contender for FastLaugh's 2010 Colossally Unrecoverable Fall From Grace Award, following his admission today of fathering a child with his mistress while his wife, Elizabeth, was valiantly battling incurable cancer. Edwards finished fourth with 9% of the vote in 2009. Past winners include Tiger Woods (2009) and Bernie Madoff (2008). (U.S. Congress photo in the public domain)

Edwards confesses paternity, continues denials of campaign fund misuse

January 21, 2010

by shf

CHARLOTTE, N.C. (FASTLAUGH.com) – With his credibility irrevocably shattered after finally admitting this morning that he fathered a child with his mistress while his wife was valiantly battling incurable cancer, former North Carolina senator and failed presidential candidate John Edwards continues to find himself staring down the barrel of a federal grand jury probe into whether he misused funds from his quixotic campaign in 2006 to claim the Democratic nomination for president.

Despite Edwards’ repeated denials of any campaign finance wrongdoings related to paying off Rielle Hunter in an attempt to ensure her silence about their affair and love child, his sudden admission of paternity today after such a protracted denial reinforces the public view of him — that he is exceptionally gifted at self-delusion.

“I am Quinn’s father,” Edwards declared, confirming the public’s belief that Frances Quinn Hunter, the nearly 2-year-old daughter of his former mistress, is his child.

Addressing the likelihood of a long prison sentence if convicted of campaign fund misuse — and its impact on his young daughter — Edwards said in a statement, “It was wrong for me ever to deny she was my daughter, and hopefully one day if I ever get out of prison after this campaign fund mess… when she understands, she will forgive me. I have been able to spend time with Quinn during the past year, knowing that I may not get to see her very much over the years. The good news, though, is that she’s got my beautiful, lustrous hair! Hopefully my new cellmate enjoys combing and brushing my hair as much as I do!”