AUGUST 10, 2011
Bachmann to trade Hawaii to China for debt forgiveness
AMES, IOWA (FastLaugh.com) — Elaborating on a radical debt reduction scheme trumpeted last year by presidential aspirant Sarah Palin, Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-Minn.) stated this evening on Fox News, “You know, we’ve got this ginormous… really, really ginormous… debt to China and it is growing and growing and growing by the day. So, I say that it is urgent… very urgent… that the U.S. starts selling off or trading or whatever, large chunks of our territory around the world to cover our debts and balance our budget.”
Bachmann continued, “When I’m sworn in as President, I would start off with elitist Hawaii right on my very first day in office. Hawaii is way, way out in the middle of the sea or the ocean or somewhere so it is really of no strategic use to America anymore in the twenty-first century. I will trade Hawaii straight-up to China in exchange for them wiping out our entire debt to them.”
She concluded her remarks by noting, “Also… and this is where it gets really, really good… the hardworking U.S. taxpayers will not get hit with the expense of America needing a new flag with only forty-nine states because I’ll immediately admit Puerto Rico as the fiftieth state. Just think how much better it will be to have America’s map all nice and tidy again with the fifty states now being all smooshed together on one page.”
Several residents of Hawaii, when asked to comment on Bachmann’s proclamation, were all in favor of becoming part of China if she were elected — to avoid enduring the embarrassment of having her as their President.