AUGUST 22, 2011 Paul “Eddie Munster” Ryan not running for POTUS Loses support of critical widow’s peak voting bloc by shf WASHINGTON, D.C. (FastLaugh.com) — Following a swirl of rumors started last week by political operative Karl Rove (@FakeTurdBlossom) that Munster was consulting with advisers and family members on a possible presidential run, FastLaugh has [...]
AUGUST 14, 2011 Bachmann celebrates Ames Straw Poll victory with traditional corndog irrumatio at Iowa State Fair Saves wurst for last as Tina Brown kicks self over last week’s premature ‘Crazy Eyes’ Newsweek cover by shf AMES, Iowa (FastLaugh.com) — Appearing on “Face the Nation” on Sunday morning, Rep. Michele Bachmann stood by her comment [...]
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Posted 14 August 2011
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Tagged: Ames-Straw-Poll, Bachmann, corndog, debate, Iowa-State-Fair, irrumatio, Marcus-Bachmann, Michele-Bachmann, Republican, shf, submissive
AUGUST 10, 2011 Bachmann to trade Hawaii to China for debt forgiveness by shf AMES, IOWA (FastLaugh.com) — Elaborating on a radical debt reduction scheme trumpeted last year by presidential aspirant Sarah Palin, Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-Minn.) stated this evening on Fox News, “You know, we’ve got this ginormous… really, really ginormous… debt to China [...]
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Posted 10 August 2011
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Tagged: Bachmann, balanced-budget, budget, China, debt, debt-reduction, elitist, embarrassment, flag, forty-nine-states, Fox News, Hawaii, map, Michele-Bachmann, ocean, Palin, POLITICS, President, Puerto-Rico, Sarah Palin, shf, statehood, taxpayer, Tea-Party
AUGUST 09, 2011 ‘Leaked’ Michele “Crazy Eyes” Bachmann Newsweek Cover by shf NEW YORK (FastLaugh.com) — Newsweek’s Editor-in-Chief Tina Brown reacted defensively this afternoon, chastising reigning Tea Party Queen, Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-Minn.) and her political advisors for “recklessly accusing Newsweek of resorting to recycling bottom-of-the-barrel moonbat photo cliches about ‘crazy-eyed’ conservative female public figures.” [...]
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Posted 09 August 2011
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Tagged: Bachmann, Bachmann-magazine-cover, Crazy-Eye, eye, magazine, magazine-cover, Michele-Bachmann, Newsweek, photo, POLITICS, Queen, Tea-Party, Tea-Party-Queen, Tina-Brown
Sanford to be featured in PETA ad, replacing Tiger Woods February 28, 2010 by shf CHARLESTON, S.C. (FASTLAUGH.com) – South Carolina’s randy, philandering Governor Mark Sanford has been selected to replace Tiger Woods as the new poster boy for an upcoming ‘Spay or Neuter’ ad campaign by animal rights group PETA (People for the Ethical [...]
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Posted 28 February 2010
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Tagged: abuse of trust, ad campaign, advertising, animal rights, Appalachian Trail, Argentina, attorney, bear, billboard, blogger, cat, defamation, derision, disappearance, divorce, dog, fallen public figures, four-legged, free speech, goodwill, Governor, hiking, international headlines, Jenny Sanford, lawsuit, lawyer, legal, lover, mainstream media, Mark Sanford, maul, media, mockery, neuter, People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, pet, PETA, philandering, poster boy, public derision, public figures, publicity, ridicule, rights, satire, scorn, sex, sexual transgressions, slogan, soul-mate, South America, South Carolina, spay, speculation, spokesperson, stick in the eye, tiger, Tiger Woods, tragic, trust, vanishing act
Cuss Free Week coming to California February 25, 2010 by shf SACRAMENTO, Calif. (FASTLAUGH.com) — Despite the massive budgetary disaster that threatens to sink California deep into the Pacific, State Assemblyman Anthony Portantino (D-La Canada Flintridge) flagrantly wasted taxpayers time and money this morning by introducing legislation to consider making next week a statewide profanity-free [...]
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Posted 25 February 2010
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Tagged: Anthony Portantino, blush, budgetary disaster, California, California State Assembly, cursing, Cuss Free Week, cussing, debate, Democrats, dumbass, F word, GOP, grandma, hell, La Canada Flintridge, legislation, legislature, profanity, Republicans, resolution, Sacramento, shithead, State Senate, swearing, taxpayers
Mississippi Gov. Haley Barbour, Toyota apologist February 24, 2010 by shf JACKSON, Miss. (FASTLAUGH.com) — Mississippi Gov. Haley Barbour elaborated on assertions made in his Toyota op-ed piece appearing in The Washington Post this morning, directly placing full blame for the Toyota fiasco on President Obama and his cadre of liberal lawmakers in Congress for [...]
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Posted 24 February 2010
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Tagged: America, apologist, assembly plant, attack, automobiles, backwater, blame, car, Congress, dangerous precedent, economic consequences, economy, employers, fiasco, Haley Barbour, hearings, House of Representatives, ill-informed voters, jobs, jobs over safety, lawmakers, liberals, Mississippi, Obama, Obama administration, President Obama, Prius, Republicans, safety, safety standards, Senate, socialist, term-limit, Toyota, vehicles, voters, Washington, White House
Limbaugh issues statement on Cheney cardiac episode Febraury 23, 2010 by shf WASHINGTON (FASTLAUGH.com) — Bloviating archconservative U.S. radio host Rush Limbaugh quickly took to the airwaves this afternoon to issue the following statement regarding former U.S. Vice President Dick Cheney’s recent cardiac episode: “First, let me assure you — my loyal and obediant servants [...]
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Posted 23 February 2010
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Tagged: airwaves, archconservative, audience, autonomic nervous system, blessings, bloviate, cardiac, catheterization, Cheney, chest pain, Christmas, conscience, conservative, death panels, diagnosis, doctors, emotions, Hawaii, Healthcare, heart, heart attack, holiday season, hospital, liberals, listeners, medical insurance, medical tests, odds of survival, pain, pampered white guys, Phantom Heart Syndrome, polls, radio, radio host, ratings, rich white guys, Rush Limbaugh, screeds, socialized medicine, soul, spasms, stress test, Valentine's Day, vestigial emotions
Fiorina’s next Demon Ruminant attack ad to accuse Campbell of being a Yaks and Spend Republican February 8, 2010 by shf [...] Unaltered photo (MPR Photo/Ambar Espinoza) @ http://minnesota.publicradio.org/display/web/2008/12/19/yak_farmer/
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Posted 08 February 2010
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Tagged: attack ad, California, campaigns, candidates, Carly, Carly Fiorina, conservatives, deception, deceptive advertising, demon sheep, demon yak, Fiorina, humor in advertising, internet ads, pandering, Republicans, right-wing, ruminants, Senate, sheep, Tax and Spend Republican, Tom Campbell, yak, Yaks and Spend Republican
Palin 2012 T-shirt, MY HEART BELONGS TO A PALM READER, selling briskly February 7, 2010 by shf FASTLAUGH.com [...] T-shirt with the slogan MY HEART BELONGS TO A PALM READER (minus the Sarah Palin image and the Palin 2012 text) @ cafepress.com
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Posted 07 February 2010
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Tagged: 2012 presidential campaign, cheater, conservative, crib notes, GOP, Nashville, Palin, Palin 2012, palm, Palm Reader, POTUS, Presidency, Republicans, Sarah Palin, T-shirts, Tea Party Convention, TelePalm
Fiorina’s Sheep ad fleeces facts February 7, 2010 by shf SAN FRANCISCO (FASTLAUGH.com) — Republican Senate candidate Carly Fiorina fleeced the facts when she pandered to the far right with her recent internet Sheep ad in a desperate and transparent bid to use humor as a cover for her deception, and to ingratiate herself with [...]
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Posted 07 February 2010
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Tagged: alpacas, antelope, attack ad, bison, camels, campaigns, candidates, Carly, Carly Fiorina, cattle, conservatives, deception, deceptive advertising, deer, demon sheep, Fiorina, fleece, giraffes, goats, humor in advertising, internet ads, llamas, mammals, nilgai, Oakland CA, pandering, press conference, pronghorn, Republicans, right-wing, ruminants, Senate, sheep, Tom Campbell, water buffalo, wildebeest, yak
Edwards sex tape leaked February 07, 2010 by shf PITTSBORO, N.C. (FASTLAUGH.com) — Superior Court Judge Abraham Penn Jones sternly demanded under threat of contempt that Andrew Young, sycophant former aide to two-time presidential candidate John Edwards, relinquish to his court by next Wednesday, the flagrante delicto video featuring Edwards and his then-pregnant mistress Rielle [...]
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Posted 07 February 2010
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Tagged: Andrew Young, Atlanta, citizenry, coiffed, comb, comtempt of court, court, Democrats, distractions, flagrante delicto, hairbrush, haircut, John Edwards, mistress, Pants on the Ground, pregnant mistress, presidential candidate, Red Ink, Rielle Hunter, safety deposit box, sex, sex tape, sycophant, tattoo, tattoo parlor, tramp stamp, viral video, YouTube
Zsa Zsa as California’s First Princess? January 25, 2010 by shf WEST HOLLYWOOD, Calif. (FASTLAUGH.com) — Hungarian-born actress and socialite Zsa Zsa Gabor’s ninth husband, Prince Frederic von Anhalt, 65, held a news conference in West Hollywood on Monday to unveil a huge billboard of himself outfitted as a Park Avenue doorman, and to announce [...]
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Posted 26 January 2010
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Tagged: 60s sitcoms, affairs, amnesty, Anna Nicole Smith, babies, Belair, billboard, broad amnesty, California, campaign, cop-slapping, countryside, daughters, doorman, earworm, Eva Gabor, farming, fiscally conservative, gay marraige, German-born, Governor, Green Acres, headline-seeking, illegal immigrants, legalization of marijuana, Lisa Douglas, marijuana, news conference, Park Avenue, Playboy magazine, POLITICS, pot, prince, Prince Frederic von Anhalt, princess, props, quixotic, Republicans, Rodeo Drive, Sacramento, Schwarzenegger, sitcoms, slap cops, socialite, socially liberal, stores, theme songs, whores, Zsa Zsa Gabor
Edwards confesses paternity, continues denials of campaign fund misuse January 21, 2010 by shf CHARLOTTE, N.C. (FASTLAUGH.com) – With his credibility irrevocably shattered after finally admitting this morning that he fathered a child with his mistress while his wife was valiantly battling incurable cancer, former North Carolina senator and failed presidential candidate John Edwards continues [...]
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Posted 21 January 2010
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Tagged: affair, Bernie Madoff, brush (hair), campaign, campaign finance, cancer, cellmate, comb (hair), confession, credibility, daughter, Democratic, Democrats, denials, Elizabeth Edwards, fall from grace, federal grand jury, hair, John Edwards, love child, lustrous hair, mistress, nomination, North Carolina, paternity, POLITICS, presidential candidate, prison, Quinn, quixotic, Rielle Hunter, self-delusion, senator, silence, Tiger Woods
Healthcare reform in hypocritical condition by shf January 10, 2010 WASHINGTON (FASTLAUGH.com) — Congress further dilutes healthcare reform as the usual partisan hacks point fingers and hurl accusations at each other for meaningless political gain over the day’s talking points and news cycle… That says it all for the moment.
Limbaugh: Tests confirm no heart, “Phantom Heart Syndrome” by shf January 3, 2010 HONOLULU (FASTLAUGH.com) – Archconservative U.S. radio host Rush Limbaugh took to the airwaves this morning to assure his faithful listeners that he was on the mend following two days of testing and hospitalization upon experiencing what he characterized as “…excruciating chest pains, [...]
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Posted 03 January 2010
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Tagged: airwaves, angiogram, archconservative, audience, autonomic nervous system, blessings, bloviate, chest pain, Christmas, conscience, conservative, diagnosis, doctors, emotions, Hawaii, Healthcare, heart, holiday season, Honolulu, hospital, liberals, listeners, medical tests, on the mend, pain, Phantom Heart Syndrome, polls, radio, radio host, ratings, resorts, Rush Limbaugh, screeds, shaving, soul, spasms, vacation, vestigial emotions
Lieberman disputes claims of apology to senate colleagues over healthcare tension By shf December 15, 2009 WASHINGTON (FASTLAUGH.com) – Sen. Joe Lieberman (Conn.) told his Democratic colleagues at the White House today that despite begrudgingly having “maybe, perhaps, only the itsy, bitsy, teenie, weeniest speck of regret” for creating a paralyzing legislative logjam and the [...]
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Posted 16 December 2009
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Tagged: Amtrak, anger, apology, Biden, big juicy burger, Capitol Hill, color psychology, Congress, Connecticut, Democrats, Dodd, emotions, fries, Gillibrand, government, government misspending, greasy fries, Hadassah Lieberman, health insurance, healthcare debate, hostility, Joe Lieberman, Joementum, Joey the Veep, Lautenberg, Medicare, Menendez, New Jersey, New York, Schumer, sticky vanilla shake, Tri-state, U.S. Senator, vote, White House
Palin promoting pop-up version of her bestselling book December 11, 2009 by shf WASILLA, Alaska (FASTLAUGH.com) – Basking in adoration from the publicity blitz for her New York Times bestselling book, Going Rogue, former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin announced this afternoon that her publisher has greenlighted production of a pop-up, musical version of her book [...]
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Posted 11 December 2009
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Tagged: bestsellers, books, children's books, Going Rogue, Palin, political supporters, pop-up, publicity, publishing, reading, Sarah Palin
Sanford divorce filing December 11, 2009 by shf CHARLESTON, S.C. (FASTLAUGH.com) – Jenny Sanford, South Carolina’s gracious and dignified first lady, filed divorce papers today on the grounds of adultery following months of fruitless reconcilliation attempts with Governor Mark Sanford, her husband of two decades. Gov. Sanford and his ‘stimulus package’ disappeared for several days [...]
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Posted 11 December 2009
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Tagged: adultery, affairs, Appalachian Trail, Argentina, bear, crying, disappearance, divorce, eaten by a bear, forbidden, golf, Governor, hiking, loyal staffers, Mark Sanford, mauled, moral failure, POLITICS, radio silence, sneaking, soul-mate, South Carolina, stimulus package, tears, Tiger Woods, warnings
