Singer Taylor Swift reacts to getting a mouthful of pepper spray from cop as she accepts the Favorite Country Music Album award for “Speak Now” at the 2011 American Music Awards in Los Angeles November 20, 2011.
From: Netflix To: FastLaugh Subject: Qwikster to dumpster, DVDs shackled to Netflix.com Date: Mon, 10 Oct 2011 Dear Subscriber, Reed was way too fucking embarrassed to send you another email himself. And besides, after that last one when he announced Qwikster, the Netflix Board of Directors refused to even let him see this one before [...]
From: Reed Hastings, Co-Founder and CEO of Netflix To: FastLaugh.com Subject: An Explanation and Some Reflections Date: Mon, 19 Sep 2011 Dear Netflix Subscriber, I fucked up. Big time. Now, with Netflix’s stock tanking and subscribers fleeing, I’m forced to do damage control since my board of directors and our PR folks told me I [...]
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Posted 19 September 2011
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Tagged: AOL, Borders, DVD, Elmo, investor, joint, Los-Gatos, mail, Netflix, postal-service, Qwikster, red-envelope, Reed-Hastings, Sesame-Street, Steve-Jobs, stockholder, streaming, Twitter, USPS, video-game
AUGUST 14, 2011 Groovy, baby! “Austin Powers: Bond, Junk Bond” Dr. Evil and Jean-Claude Trichet conspire in bid to collapse the Eurozone By shf FRANKFURT (FastLaugh.com) — Global financial markets were rocked as turmoil from the European debt crisis spiraled out of control, and investors raced to move their holdings to safe havens such as [...]
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Posted 14 August 2011
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Tagged: algorithm, Austin-Powers, bank, bond, centralized-policy-making, CNBC, collapse, cubicle, debt-crisis, Deutsche-Börse, Dr.-Evil, ECB, European-Central-Bank, Eurozone, finance, groovy, high-frequency-trader, Italian-bonds, junk-bond, Larry-Kudlow, markets, quants, shagadelic, shf, Spanish-bonds, traders, Trichet, Wikileaks
AUGUST 09, 2011 NBC blinks order for ‘I Dream of Jeannie’ script after CBS twitches nose for ‘Bewitched’ by shf HOLLYWOOD (FastLaugh.com) — NBC, not to be outdone by rival network CBS, greenlighted a script order today for a potential remake of 60s sitcom, ‘I Dream of Jeannie.’ ‘Jeannie’ ran for five seasons on NBC, [...]
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Posted 09 August 2011
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Tagged: Andy-Serkis, astronaut, backpack, Baghdad, Barbara-Eden, barracks, Bewitched, blink, Caesar, CBS, CGI, chador, chador-clad, deserted-island, don't-ask-don't-tell, drag, eye-slit, gay, gender-bending, Genie, genie-in-a-bottle, Gollum, Hollywood, I-Dream-of-Jeannie, Iraq, island, King-Kong, Larry-Hagman, Lord-of-the-Rings, Marine, NBC, network, nose-twitch, Operation-Iraqi-Freedom, outing, palace, Planet-of-the-Apes, remake, Rise-of-the-Apes, Saddam-Hussein, script, sitcom, South-Pacific, space-capsule, spider-hole, TV, Twenty-Nine-Palms-Marine-Base, USMC
Sheen, Gottfried teaming for new HDNet sitcom March 17, 2011 by shf DALLAS (FastLaugh.com) — BREAKING: Charlie Sheen and Gilbert Gottfried teaming for new sitcom on Mark Cuban’s HDNet, titled “Two Half-Assed Men.” No further details are known at this time. Check FastLaugh for updates to this story.
‘Two and a Half Men’ role reversal… Jake now a man… Charlie now only half a man… March 1, 2011 Burbank, CA (FASTLAUGH.com) Posted by shf
Marriage Ref spin-offs in the works, Seinfeld and NBC confirm March 11, 2010 by shf NEW YORK (FASTLAUGH.com) — Grateful NBC executives profusely thanked producer-comedian Jerry Seinfeld today for coming to the Peacock Network’s rescue, with the Seinfeld-produced The Marriage Ref placing a comedy tourniquet on their self-inflicted hemorrhage in the Thursday 10 PM time [...]
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Posted 11 March 2010
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Tagged: appreciation, cell mate, comedian, comedy, criminal, demographics, diamonds, face-saving, gold, hemorrhage, inmate, jail, jail cell, Jay Leno, Jeff Gaspin, Jerry Seinfeld, Leno, Lockup, marriage, Marriage Ref, moribund, MSNBC, NBC, NBC affiliates, NBC Universal, network, panelist, Peacock, postmarital, premarital, press kit, prime-time, prisoner, producer, ratings, ref, Seinfeld, self inflicted, spin off, steel bars, synergy, television executive, The Custody Ref, The Divorce Ref, The Inmate Ref, The Marriage Ref, The Roommate Ref, time slot, tourniquet
NBC’s incessant promos for TV show Parenthood during coverage of Winter Olympics spur condom distribution record March 2, 2010 by shf VANCOUVER, B.C. (FASTLAUGH.com) — The 2010 Vancouver Olympics have “captured the gold medal for most condoms distributed at a Winter Games,” it was claimed today by an official of Vancouver Coastal Health, who noted [...]
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Posted 02 March 2010
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Tagged: 2010 Olympics, 2014, AIDS, AIDS awareness, AIDS Research, athletes, audience, Barcelona Spain, billboard, British Columbia, British Columbia Centre for Disease Control, broadcast, Canada, Canadian Foundation for AIDS Research, commercials, condom, condom distribution, disjointed coverage, gold medal, health agencies, HIV, incessant commercials, massive screwing, NBC, NBC logo, NBC logo condoms, Olympic coverage, Olympic rings, Olympics, Parenthood, Peacock Network, physical prime, promo, randy, records, rubbers, Russia, screwing, self promotion, sex, sexual prime, Sochi, Spain, Summer Olympics, swag, tease, TV, Vancouver B.C., Vancouver Coastal Health, viewing audience, Winter Olympics
Y2K redux, Sony’s PlayStation 3 units crippled by 8001050F error likely due to calendar rollover screw up March 1, 2010 by shf FOSTER CITY, Calif. (FASTLAUGH.com) — Demonstrating a cautionary tale of the extraordinary power being ceded by humanity to advanced technology, and being wielded by seemingly innocuous calendar bugs to thoroughly disrupt daily life [...]
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Posted 01 March 2010
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Tagged: 2010 Prius, 8001050F error, 999, abacus, advanced technology, apoplectic, Attila the Hun, automobile recalls, beads, boredom, botch job, brake problems, brakes, calendar bugs, calendar error, calendar glitch, calendar reset, Calendar rollover problems, catapults, cautionary tale, complacency, computer programmer, corrupt data, crusader, dependency, derision, disruption, distribution errors, dolls, drawbridges, dumbass, edge of the world, electronics, embarrassing meltdown, expiration date, explorer, explorer’s ship, falling off the edge of the world, fat PS3, fiasco, firmware, firmware update, Flash Flood, frequent crusader miles, GPS, hacker, hacking, havoc, Heavy Rain, hysteria, internet, Japan Inc., knights, leap-year, leap-year calendar glitch, log on, logging in, malfunctions, mass hysteria, mead, Medieval Express cards, meltdown, merchants, missing data, moats, Mr. Barbarian, navigation, navigation systems, online gaming, parts shortages, party like it’s 1999, payroll error, peasant, pillories, PlayStation 3, PlayStation Network, prince, Prius, PS3, PS3-exclusive game, PSN, racks, recalls, redux, revolt, ritual sacrifice, robots, rollover, screw ups, seemingly innocuous calendar bugs, shipping errors, shortages, singing, slim line PS3, slim PS3, songs, Sony, Sony's PlayStation 3, startup routine, sundial, synchronization problems, tech savvy, technicians, technologist, technology-dependant world, timers, toy stalls, Toyota, toys, trained technician, troll, trophy data, trophy-sync check, Twitter, user base, vehicle recalls, vulnerability, window of vulnerability, Y1K, Y2K, Y2K consultant
Leno wangles chance to bomb in former slot January 22, 2010 by shf BURBANK, Calif. (FASTLAUGH.com) — Affiliates 1, NBC 0, Conan $45,000,000. Shortly after reaching a forty-five million dollar exit deal with Conan O’Brien, and yielding to a withering firestorm from burned affiliates earlier this month, panicked NBC executives yesterday revealed their latest scheme [...]
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Posted 22 January 2010
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Tagged: advertising, advertising revenue, affiliates, attention-span, audience, boredom, Burbank, Conan O’Brien, drivel, ego, ENTERTAINMENT, executives, face-saving, infomercials, interstitials, Jay Leno, Jeff Gaspin, late-night, Leno, local news, M*A*S*H, NBC, NBC Universal Television Entertainment, newscast, prime-time, reruns, revenue, Tonight Show, TV, viewership, yacker
MTV scraps plans for South Padre by shf January 1, 2010 NEW YORK (FASTLAUGH.com) – MTV abruptly announced yesterday that it had scrapped plans for the new reality show, South Padre, modeled after its hit series Jurzee Shore, due to a new Texas law placing heavy restrictions on teen tanning that goes into effect today. [...]
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Posted 01 January 2010
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Tagged: Gulf Coast, Jersey Shore, Jurzee, Jurzee Shore, laws, MTV, New Jersey, South Padre Island, tanning, Teens, Texas, TV
Jurzee Shore, “A Very Tanned New Year’s Eve” [SPOILER ALERT] – Jurzee Shore, Season 2: Back at the Beach, Episode 2.3, “A Very Tanned New Year’s Eve” – Air Date 12.31.09 – The gang’s New Year’s Eve plans are short-circuited when a breakaway mylar balloon gets tangled in a nearby electric pole, knocking out all [...]
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Posted 16 December 2009
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Tagged: balloon, beach, gel, Guidette, Guido, Jersey Shore, Jurzee, MTV, New Jersey, New Year's Eve, power failure, tanning, tanning bed
Miracle on the Jurzee Shore December 14, 2009 by shf (FASTLAUGH.com) Reminder to self… must remember to program TiVo to record the heartwarming, upcoming Christmas episode of MTV’s Jurzee Shore, “Miracle on the Jurzee Shore,” as two of the wannabe Guidos, Ronnie and Mike, run out of gel on Christmas Eve and learn to appreciate [...]
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Posted 14 December 2009
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Tagged: beach, Christmas Eve, family, friends, gel, Guidette, Guido, Jersey Shore, Jurzee, miracle, MTV, New Jersey, tanning, tanning bed, TiVo, wannabe
