FastLaugh.com Poll: Biggest Crotch Bombs of 2009 December 30, 2009 by shf DESERT PALMS, Calif. (FASTLAUGH.com) — The results are now final… Despite a very spirited and thankfully unsuccessful last-week-of-the-year-challenge by Umar Farouk Abdul Mutallab, the winner of FastLaugh’s “Who’s the biggest Crotch Bomb of 2009?” poll is… Tiger Woods As recently as a few [...]
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Posted 30 December 2009
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shf § SOCIETY
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Tagged: air travel, Amsterdam, Appalachian Trail, Bernie Madoff, charts, crotch bomb, Detroit, fall from grace, graphs, John Edwards, Mark Sanford, Northwest Airlines, South Carolina, terrorism, Tiger Woods, UFAM, Umar Farouk Abdul Mutallab
Tiger Woods sweeps PGA Tour’s top two awards December 19, 2009 by shf PONTE VEDRA BEACH, Fla. (FASTLAUGH.com) – Tiger Woods, boosted by the recent implosion of his golfing career, his family life, and most significantly his extramarital sex life, swept both of the PGA Tour’s top awards for the first time this year. It’s [...]
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Posted 19 December 2009
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shf § SPORTS
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Tagged: awards, Bad Boy, balloting, career, chip shot, extramarital sex, family life, generous, golf, John Daly, PGA, scandals, sex, sexting, texting, Tiger Woods, voting, Woodsing
Tehranosaurus Wrecks Twitter by shf December 18, 2009 SAN FRANCISCO, Calif. (FASTLAUGH.com) – Iranian Cyber Army 1, Twitter 0. Twitter challenges rematch, proposes best two-out-of-three.
First Bank of Madoff issuing 79.9% interest credit card December 17, 2009 by shf BUTNER, N.C. (FASTLAUGH.com) — The First Bank of Madoff skirted newly enacted credit card interest regulations today, introducing a 79.9 percent interest credit card. It had been widely believed that Bernie Madoff’s prison financial interests were limited solely to controlling the [...]
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Posted 17 December 2009
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BUSINESS § shf
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Tagged: 79.9%, Bernie Madoff, credit, credit card, financial abuse, First Bank of Madoff, First Premier Bank, interest regulations, loopholes, Ponzi, prison, subprime, Twitter, U.S. consumers, Zhu Zhu Pets
Britain checks cheques after three centuries Dec 16, 2009 by shf LONDON (FASTLAUGH.com) – Three centuries on, but now bounced from a fourth, the unassuming yet versatile cheque was stamped void as of 2018 in Britain after getting the slip today by British banks advocating the return to a financial system based upon the peat [...]
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Posted 16 December 2009
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BUSINESS § shf
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Tagged: banking, Britain, budget cuts, century, check, cheque, chequebook (checkbook), currency, days of yore, financial system, government misspending, infestation, mattress, peat moss, Pied Piper, plague, quills, rodent, Royal Mail, Samuel Pepys
Lieberman disputes claims of apology to senate colleagues over healthcare tension By shf December 15, 2009 WASHINGTON (FASTLAUGH.com) – Sen. Joe Lieberman (Conn.) told his Democratic colleagues at the White House today that despite begrudgingly having “maybe, perhaps, only the itsy, bitsy, teenie, weeniest speck of regret” for creating a paralyzing legislative logjam and the [...]
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Posted 16 December 2009
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POLITICS § shf
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Tagged: Amtrak, anger, apology, Biden, big juicy burger, Capitol Hill, color psychology, Congress, Connecticut, Democrats, Dodd, emotions, fries, Gillibrand, government, government misspending, greasy fries, Hadassah Lieberman, health insurance, healthcare debate, hostility, Joe Lieberman, Joementum, Joey the Veep, Lautenberg, Medicare, Menendez, New Jersey, New York, Schumer, sticky vanilla shake, Tri-state, U.S. Senator, vote, White House
Jurzee Shore, “A Very Tanned New Year’s Eve” [SPOILER ALERT] – Jurzee Shore, Season 2: Back at the Beach, Episode 2.3, “A Very Tanned New Year’s Eve” – Air Date 12.31.09 – The gang’s New Year’s Eve plans are short-circuited when a breakaway mylar balloon gets tangled in a nearby electric pole, knocking out all [...]
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Posted 16 December 2009
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ENTERTAINMENT § shf
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Tagged: balloon, beach, gel, Guidette, Guido, Jersey Shore, Jurzee, MTV, New Jersey, New Year's Eve, power failure, tanning, tanning bed
Octopus has got a lovely bunch of coconuts December 15, 2009 by shf SYDNEY (FASTLAUGH.com) – Marine biologists in Australia revealed a stunning discovery this week – an octopus in Indonesia that gathers coconut shells for shelter and then later reuses them as a form of currency for bartering in the underwater economy prevalent in [...]
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Posted 15 December 2009
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SCI/TECH § shf
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Tagged: animal, Australia, barter, biology, cephalopod, coconut, coleoidea, crabs, currency, economy, evolution, financial system, fish, Future Biology, Indonesia, invertebrate, marine biologist, nap, ocean, Octopus, scallops, shell, shelter, shrimp, tool
LeBron filches fries, fries fan December 14, 2009 by shf OKLAHOMA CITY, OK (FASTLAUGH.com) – A ridiculous new food abuse trend has engulfed the sports world of late, as coaches such as Brian Kelly (Notre Dame’s new coach) are having their homes pelted with eggs thrown by angry fans, and players such as Cleveland’s LeBron [...]
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Posted 14 December 2009
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shf § SPORTS
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Tagged: angry fans, basketball, Cavaliers, cheese, eggs, fans, food abuse, free, French fries, fries, jalapeno, kettles, LeBron James, molten, nacho cheese sauce, Oklahoma City, players, sports world, Thunder, vendor
Miracle on the Jurzee Shore December 14, 2009 by shf (FASTLAUGH.com) Reminder to self… must remember to program TiVo to record the heartwarming, upcoming Christmas episode of MTV’s Jurzee Shore, “Miracle on the Jurzee Shore,” as two of the wannabe Guidos, Ronnie and Mike, run out of gel on Christmas Eve and learn to appreciate [...]
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Posted 14 December 2009
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ENTERTAINMENT § shf
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Tagged: beach, Christmas Eve, family, friends, gel, Guidette, Guido, Jersey Shore, Jurzee, miracle, MTV, New Jersey, tanning, tanning bed, TiVo, wannabe
EXTRA! EXTRA! *** Read all about it! *** News from 2011! *** Why wait a whole ‘nother year when you can get it here today! *** EXTRA! EXTRA! Tiger Woods Bad Boys of Miniature Golf Pro-Am Tournament Weekend January 3, 2011 by shf EL CENTRO, Calif. (FASTLAUGH.com) – Radio and TV stations, billboards, and the [...]
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Posted 13 December 2009
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shf § SPORTS
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Tagged: 2011, advertising blitz, asses, babe magnet, bad boys, billboards, California, career, celebrity, cell phone, Coachella Valley, comebacks, cute young mommies, El Centro, expo, EXTRA! EXTRA!, extramarital sex life, fair, fairgrounds, family life, fiesta, golf, huge asses, Imperial Valley, kids, knee surgery, lawyer, loopholes, Mexicali, miniature golf, mobile phone, newspapers, Paul Rodriguez, prenup, pro-am, putt-putt, Queen, radio, radio and TV stations, RV, Salton Sea, scandal, sex, sex life, snowbirds, surgery, text message, Tiger Woods, Tigress, tournament, tri-valley region, TV, weather
Palin promoting pop-up version of her bestselling book December 11, 2009 by shf WASILLA, Alaska (FASTLAUGH.com) – Basking in adoration from the publicity blitz for her New York Times bestselling book, Going Rogue, former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin announced this afternoon that her publisher has greenlighted production of a pop-up, musical version of her book [...]
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Posted 11 December 2009
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POLITICS § shf
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Tagged: bestsellers, books, children's books, Going Rogue, Palin, political supporters, pop-up, publicity, publishing, reading, Sarah Palin
Australia anticipating development boom in Outback from massive iceberg Dec 11, 2009 by shf SYDNEY (FASTLAUGH.com) – Australian Economic Development officials issued a wildly optimistic assessment today regarding the gigantic iceberg floating directly towards the country’s southwest coast. The Bureau of Meteorology reported that the ice behemoth, which split from the vast Antarctic ice shelf [...]
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Posted 11 December 2009
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shf § WORLD
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Tagged: Alice Springs, Antarctic, Australia, bonzer, casino, development boom, Economic Development, fake lake, glaciologist, global warming, golf, golf courses, grass, iceberg, lakes, Mini-me, mother lode, myth, ocean, Outback, Outback Restaurant, pure water, reservoir, resorts, sea temperature, shrimp-on-the-barbie, slang, strip mall, unsustainable, water, Wollongong-Fairy Meadow
Sanford divorce filing December 11, 2009 by shf CHARLESTON, S.C. (FASTLAUGH.com) – Jenny Sanford, South Carolina’s gracious and dignified first lady, filed divorce papers today on the grounds of adultery following months of fruitless reconcilliation attempts with Governor Mark Sanford, her husband of two decades. Gov. Sanford and his ‘stimulus package’ disappeared for several days [...]
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Posted 11 December 2009
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POLITICS § shf
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Tagged: adultery, affairs, Appalachian Trail, Argentina, bear, crying, disappearance, divorce, eaten by a bear, forbidden, golf, Governor, hiking, loyal staffers, Mark Sanford, mauled, moral failure, POLITICS, radio silence, sneaking, soul-mate, South Carolina, stimulus package, tears, Tiger Woods, warnings
Windows 7 installation bug resolved December 10, 2009 by shf REDMOND, Wash. (FASTLAUGH.com) — With the launch of Windows 7 now several weeks old, nearly one-third of users have reported problems with upgrading to Windows 7, claiming that the process is buggy. The most common gripe is that the half-day upgrade process gets to the [...]
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Posted 10 December 2009
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SCI/TECH § shf
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Tagged: 62%, advanced degree, advanced settings, Bro, bugs (computer), calculations, coding, computer science, computers, critical Windows 7 bugs, fixes, golden ratio, Graham's number, hack, hard drive, installation, inverse golden ratio, irrational mathematical constant, mathematics, mean derived value, Microsoft, operating systems, physics, Pi, registry hack, software, software upgrades, Windows 7, workarounds
Google claims naming rights to still nameless decade December 9, 2009 by shf MOUNTAIN VIEW, Calif. (FASTLAUGH.com) – With only three weeks remaining until the end of the 00′s, Americans are still clueless when it comes to agreeing what to call the past decade despite having had ten years to figure it out. The Zeroes? [...]
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Posted 09 December 2009
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SCI/TECH § shf
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Tagged: 1970s, 2000, announcements, anthropology, assertions, Aughts, catchphrase, cluelessness, decade, end of decade, extortion, eye wear, forgetfulness, Google, indecision, labels, leaks, linguistics, nameless decade, naming rights, NYC, Ohhhs, Phil Ology, professor, short attention span, slogan, Teens, The Me Decade, The Twoogles Decade, Times Square, Tom Wolfe, UC Berkeley, Y2K, Yahoo!, Zeroes
Tiniest apartment in New York City December 6, 2009 by shf NEW YORK, NY (FASTLAUGH.com) – Zahara and Charles Prokow — and their two cats — live in the tiniest apartment in the city, an 80-square-foot micro-studio one hundred feet below Grand Central Station that the couple bought three months ago for $150,000. At 8 [...]
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Posted 08 December 2009
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shf § SOCIETY
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Tagged: apartment, bunk, cats, claustrophobic, convenience, dank, Grand Central Station, hole in the wall, home ownership, hotplate, jail cell, Manhattan, Manhattan real estate, Metro-North, micro-studio, mortgage, NYC, real estate, sink, stratosphere, subterranean, subway car, sucks, tiny, tiny apartment, toilet, train station, trains, ventilation, windowlesss
Poll finds sexting a growing trend among seniors December 3, 2009 by shf WASHINGTON (FASTLAUGH.com) — Think your grandma isn’t “sexting”? Think again. Sexting — sharing sexually explicit photos, videos and chat by cell phone or online — now fairly commonplace with young people, is an emerging trend among seniors. More than ten percent of [...]
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Posted 03 December 2009
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shf § SOCIETY
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Tagged: AARP, brains, broken hips, cell phone, chat, children, consequences, dating, decision making, elderly, felony, flirtation, grandchildren, grandma, grandpa, great-grandchildren, hooking up, mobile phone, mortality, nude pictures, nursing home, online, photos, poll, relationships, research, romance, seniors, sex, sexting, sexually explicit photos, sexually explicit videos, sociology, teenagers sexting, trends, videos
